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Nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us

from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39

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Finding the Courage to Love Again

July 06, 20236 min read

Isaiah 41:10 reminds us, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (ESV).

Do you long to love again but find yourself paralyzed by your comfort zone?

It's time to gather the courage within and break free from what is familiar.

In this email, we will explore how comfort zone paralysis hinders your quest for new love and provide you with the inspiration and scripture to take action to find love again.

I invite you to embrace the transformative power of courage and open your heart to the possibility of finding love once more!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6 (ESV)

Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection can paralyze you, keeping you confined within your comfort zone.

I was lost in grief for several years after my husband died. I didn’t realize how much I had isolated myself. Grief became a familiar cocoon that kept me from feeling vulnerable.

But as God healed my heart I began to feel interested in living again. The cocoon began to feel like a prison…one I had made for myself!

The Holy Spirit had ministered to me in such a deep way that I trusted Him to guide me and be with me.

When you choose trust in the Lord's presence and reassurance that He will never leave you He can open up a way where there seems to be no way.

His presence can empower you to step out in faith, knowing that even in the face of rejection, you are loved and supported by a faithful God.

Break Free from Past Hurts

Past hurts can create barriers that become the boundaries of your comfort zone.

The Apostle Paul reminds us in Philippians 3:13, ESV, "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead."

The heart healing process we used in the Widowed to Wedded Journey created the opportunity for you to invite the Holy Spirit to heal those past hurts so that you can be free to obey His guidance.

I know this isn’t easy. Childhood hurts have been there a long time, and it is easy to believe that what happened to you defined who you are.

My father wanted me to be my best. For that reason, he made sure I knew that nothing I did was good enough. He taught me my best efforts could always be better. He thought he was encouraging me, but he was wrong.

Over time I began to feel despair of ever getting his approval. I still did my best, but I stopped thinking it could be good enough.

God began to work in my heart on this belief, “I’m not enough.” I began to notice how much I had accomplished in my life. His strength had worked through me to help me achieve many amazing things!

That “not enough” feeling still gets triggered in me. But I don’t believe it anymore. I believe I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13. This verse gives me courage to step out in faith that my efforts will be strengthened by God working through me.

Allow yourself to heal, release the weight of the past, and embrace the courage to love again.

Embrace Self-Love and Worthiness

Often, our comfort zones stem from a lack of self-love and feelings of unworthiness. This is so common in our culture. Women are so often treated as second class citizens and taught that they have to please others to receive love.

We fail to understand that we are worthy of God’s love just because He created us in His image. There need be no other reason! You are lovable because you are a child of God.

Yet, God's Word assures us, "For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb" (Psalm 139:13, ESV).

Recognize your inherent worthiness as a child of God, and let that knowledge empower you to break free from your comfort zone and seek the love you deserve.

Step into the Unknown

Leaving our comfort zones means stepping into the unknown, which can be scary. You don’t know what is going to happen.

Isaiah 41:10 reminds us, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (ESV).

You have to learn to have faith in this promise that God has made to you. And you need to learn how to turn toward that promise when you are afraid.

I was really scared when I first started dating again. I was so nervous!

I figured it was best if I just admitted how nervous I was. And you know what the man I was on a date with said? He said, “Me, too.”

Believe me, dating is not easy at any age! But we don’t have to let fear defeat us! God goes with us on our dates. Image God is sitting in the back seat of the car, keeping an eye on how things are going. Your protector is right there with you!

When you trust in God's unfailing presence and let His strength guide you as you step boldly into the unknown, you can feel confident knowing that He is with you every step of the way.

Embrace Miracles

Comfort zones often keep us from experiencing miracles.

Jesus said, "If you can? All things are possible for one who believes" (Mark 9:23, ESV).

Believe in the miraculous power of love as you step outside your comfort zone.

I really didn’t believe I would find love again when I first started dating. But I was willing to follow the Holy Spirit and wait on the Lord. Suddenly, one day, I met my beloved. Everything changed.

True, I didn’t know for sure when we met that our relationship would become the beautiful connection we have today. But when I met him, I stopped all my efforts to look for a partner. I gave this relationship time to grow. I’m so glad I did.

Allow God to orchestrate beautiful and unexpected connections. His best for you may surpass your wildest dreams.

By finding the courage to overcome comfort zone paralysis, you are paving the way for a new chapter of love in your life.

Release the fear of rejection, break free from past hurts, and embrace your worthiness as a child of God.

Step into the unknown with faith, knowing that God is by your side, strengthening and upholding you.

Remember, the courage to love again is within you, and as you embrace it, the journey of rediscovering love will unfold in ways you never imagined.

If you need assistance, feel free to send me an email at I'm here to serve you in your journey to find new love!

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Kristin van Tilburg

Kristin van Tilburg is a Christian Financial Freedom Coach.

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Copyright 2023 Kristin van Tilburg. All rights reserved

Copyright 2023 Kristin van Tilburg. All rights reserved