Anne doesn’t know who her mother was. Nor does she know who her father was, and she never will. Anne was found in a basket sitting outside the door to a hospital emergency room. Her tiny basket-bed was found by an EMT driver after he had delivered a man who was having a heart attack to the emergency room. He was sitting in his truck after completing the run, noticed the basket, and went to investigate. He found a tiny baby sleeping peacefully. Stunned, he picked up the basket and took it into the emergency room, leaving the abandoned baby with a speechless receptionist.
It isn’t hard to imagine that Anne has had many experiences of abandonment and betrayal in her life. She was adopted by a kind family, but her adopted dad died in a car accident when she was three years old. Her adopted mom was left alone to raise Anne, and she had to go to work, so Anne spent much of her early years in day care.
By the time Anne started to work with me she was 34 years old, a successful administrator in a local hospital, married and divorced twice and very unhappy with her life. “I’ll never be loved,” Anne wailed during our first call. She told me all about being left in a basket shortly after birth, and how her adoptive father died, and her mother worked all the time to make ends meet. She told me how she worked her way through college, marrying her first husband after her freshman year, but being divorced 2 years later when her husband became addicted to cocaine. He had drained their savings account behind her back to support his drug habit. Anne gave up on her marriage after a rehab counselor at her husband’s treatment facility told her that cocaine addicts did not give up cocaine easily. He told her that few were ever able to quit the drug for very long. He advised her to let go of her marriage and get on with her life.
Anne’s second husband was a very successful workaholic. They married after a whirlwind four week courtship, and Anne thought she had found her “happily ever after” prince. But once the infatuation phase of their romance dwindled, Anne found herself spending nights and weekends alone while her husband worked 80-100 hour weeks. She barely saw him. He didn’t even notice when she moved out of their home. When he did discover she had left him, he told her that their marriage had been a big mistake. He offered her a generous settlement so that they could be quickly and easily divorced, and Anne would have some money to live on while she established a new life for herself.
That is when Anne came to me. Despite the fact that many biological mothers are compelled by circumstance to give up their babies, and that giving them up is a sacrifice made in love, it is common for adopted children to believe they are unlovable. As Anne and I worked on her “inner game,” the structural belief system on which Anne was manifesting her life experience, massive shifts began to happen.
Through our work Anne began to experience that “still small inner voice” that is the expression of the Divine within. And a massive transformational shift occurred when Anne experienced firsthand that she is a unique expression of the Divine in this world. Anne came to know herself as an ambassador for LOVE. Rather than seeking love outside herself, Anne learned to connect and reconnect and reconnect yet again, all through the day, living as LOVE, rather than one who seeks LOVE.
This is the power of co-creative self-expression. Instead of living a life seeking desires in the outer world, we need to learn to live as expressions of LOVE, allow LOVE’s transforming presence to move through us into the world. When you learn to live as a conscious co-creator with life all your desires become the triggers for you to open to receive the guidance you need to manifest these very desires. That is why I encourage you to download my checklist The 5 Keys to Conscious Co-creation. This checklist enables you to assess your co-creation skills, and discover where you are stuck in an identity which is unconsciously co-creating the disappointments and challenges you are facing in your life.
Key #1 is the ultimate stress reducer: eliminate exhaustion and overwhelm. Anne used this key to open to the still small voice of her Divine Self.
Key #2 makes change smooth and effortless. Anne used this key to transform the structure of her belief system, programming her inner game to win!
Key #3 causes anxiety to dissolve in mere seconds, allowing you to rest in the peace that passes all understanding. Anne allowed her new identity as a conscious co-creator to build trust in Life to be organizing for her success.
Key #4 reconnects you to your desires: your passion for living. Anne learned to allow her desires to become the “yellow brick road” to follow in her life journey.
Key #5 opens the door to the experience of beauty, and why you are desperate for it. Anne opened herself more and more to the wonder of each moment, and build a habit of gratitude to sustain her during challenges.
As Anne and I worked together, and Anne’s ability to co-create with life was strengthened Anne’s life was transformed. Rather than living her life out of unconscious feelings of abandonment and betrayal, Anne began to choose to be a source of the endless flow of LOVE into the world. And as this new LOVE-filled identity became real for her, her inner light began to shine more and more brightly.
One day Anne felt an intuitive desire to go to the Wildflower Café for lunch. Anne had packed a lunch to eat in the office that day so it felt silly to leave it in the refrigerator and go out to eat alone, but Anne had learned to follow her inner guidance, so she decided to go out to eat after all. When she got to the restaurant it was crowded with the usual lunchtime crowd. But Anne’s attention was drawn to a table for two where a man was eating alone. He was not a stunningly handsome man, but there seemed to a light emanating from him. Although she could not see the light with her physical eyes, Anne felt herself being drawn to this man through her heart.
Surrendering to this intuitive knowing that she needed to connect with this man, Anne did a bold thing…she did something that prior to our work together she never would have done. She walked up to the man and asked if she could share his table. The man was very surprised, but the minute their eyes connected, Anne felt a tingling in her whole body. He, too, seemed to be experiencing some kind of jolt, and he slowly nodded his head for Anne to sit down.
His name was Ted, and they talked over lunch for more an hour. Finally Anne said that she had to leave to get back to work. Ted pulled his business card out of his suit pocket and handed it to Anne. He told her “I would really like it if you would call me to arrange a time for us to meet. I want very much for us to get together again.”
Anne called Ted that night after work. Again, this was an action that Anne would never have made prior to our working together. She just would not have been comfortable calling a man, even when that man had asked her to do so. She would not have had the self-confidence to make such a bold move. Her self-doubts would have talked her out of taking that next step.
Anne and Ted have been dating for several months now. They are slowly getting to know each other, and the more Anne learns about Ted, the more she cares for him. His values and her values are very much in alignment. They share common interests and goals. And they are exploring the possibility of being co-creative partners in life, sharing their highs as well as their lows.
Anne is ecstatic about all that life seems now to be bringing her. “I had no idea how my inner game was attracting people who fit my false beliefs about myself,” she told me. “I am so grateful to you, Kristin, for helping me discover how to consciously co-create my life!”
If you see the possibility for yourself to master the skill of conscious co-creation begin now by downloading my free checklist.
We all have desires, and there are those who say that desire is the basis of suffering…that we should be free of desire to live a joyful life. But that is not my experience.
My experience is that life IS desire arising through the levels of my being, calling me forward into ever-expanding experiences of the beauty of life. So to try to detach from desire is basically trying to detach from life itself. Not recommended, although apparently it is the right choice for some.
But what I notice is helpful, is to not attempt to co-create my desires from a limited identity…my Kristin self. My Kristin self has too many stories about who she is to open to and allow these desires…to many reasons “why-not.”
The energy of co-creation is accessed through the purest sense of self as consciousness that you can enter. And it is the trust of pure consciousness, a sort of “set it and forget it” mentality that gives consciousness the fullest permission to alter your experience of reality.
Using these ideas with a playful spirit open your being to the greatest results…so have fun, and let me know how you are doing! I’ll be right beside you!