Are You Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places?

Jean is a highly paid executive at a fast-paced advertising agency. She has been in advertising since she got her Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing in 1985. She is a genius at creating advertising campaigns that produce powerful results for her clients.

Jean had all the trappings of success...
Jean had all the trappings of success…

Jean is successful by anyone’s definition. She has the house, the car, the luxury vacations, and she enjoys it all tremendously. But in her heart of hearts, Jean is lonely. She has no one special to share all this with. She travels alone, arrives at her luxury resort alone, and eats her meals alone.

While Jean is courageous and confident enough to visit the bar in the evening and allow herself to be approached by men, seldom does she meet anyone she wishes to know more deeply. All too often the single men in bars are not interested in long term relationships. They are there looking for someone to spend the night with–not the rest of the lives.

Sometimes Jean says “yes” to these invitations, but the next day her despair only deepens. The emptiness she feels at these one night stands is deeply discouraging. After engaging in a deeply intimate act no intimacy remains. Only a sense of alienation and disengagement is present.

Jean knew she had to make new choices...life was unbearable now...
Jean knew she had to make new choices…life was unbearable now…

Jean came to me knowing she had to make a change–but what to do differently? Jean didn’t know, she only knew that she could not carry on as she had been co-creating a life of emptiness, despite the trappings of success all around her.

Together we explored Jean’s deepest desires for intimacy and connection. What we found shocked and disturbed Jean. Although she knew she longed for an intimate connection with a man she had no idea what kind of man she was looking for…no idea what kind of man could satisfy her.

Through deeper exploration Jean discovered that she didn’t know herself intimately. She actually knew some of her clients more intimately than she knew herself. So rather than focusing on her lack of companionship Jean began to use her free time to get to know herself.

As she moved through the world Jean began to notice what experiences in the material world offered her pleasure, and with her conscious focus, these experiences grew and became more plentiful.

Jean loved cooking after taking some classes with a friend...
Jean loved cooking after taking some classes with a friend…

Jean loved food, but she had never cooked for herself. Together with a girlfriend, Jean enrolled in a gourmet cooking school and began to take classes. She realized that she loved pairing fine wines with her gourmet meals and took a river cruise down the Rhein River in Germany, visiting many vineyards along the way.

It was on this trip that Jean met Garrett. Garrett was a widower and a successful businessman who had decided to take the river cruise to expand his knowledge of German wine. He told Jean right away that he was still grieving for his lost wife and Jean understood.

They became friends....
They became friends….

But as the cruise progressed it seemed their paths continued to cross and they began to share meal times together, comparing notes about the days event, and the wine tasting they were doing. When the cruise ended Garrett and Jean both wanted to keep in touch, and as of this writing they are getting to know each other via phone calls and emails, and thinking they might like to vacation together in the summer.

Like Jean, many awakening women have devoted a lifetime to serving others whether that be in a professional capacity, or as a wife and mother. The needs of others have always come first. But with the call to awaken comes the deep desire for intimate connection, and it always turns out the that first person these women need to become intimate with is themselves.

Awakening Women are called to experience the essential self, the authentic self, and to know and treasure that self. Very often they are faced with feelings of guilt and shame as they begin to turn away from the definitions of self imposed on them by society, culture, and the external world in general. As they free themselves from this false identities the deeper desires of their hearts become accessible.

Deep fulfillment arises from the shift to an internal focus and intimate alignment with their true selves.

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

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