Is Perfectionism Holding You Back?

“If you can’t do it right, don’t bother doing it at all.” Do you remember hearing that as a child? I do.

baby feet
Children don’t know about “perfection” until we teach it to them

Children don’t necessarily have that compunction to be “perfect.” Children do things for the joy of doing them, and there is no standard of perfection applied. Imagine if a child learning to walk had that edict! One try, one fall, and that would that. “Nope, I’m not walking. No way. I can’t do it right, so I’m not going to do it at all.”

When we apply the need for perfection to how we live our lives we destroy the inherent joy in taking inspired action. Inspiration so often challenges us to try something we have never tried before. How many times do beginners do something “perfectly” the first time? Not often.

Perfectionism triggers procrastion
Perfectionism triggers procrastion

When you require yourself to do something perfectly the first time you trigger major procrastination within. The part of you that is trying to perfect asserts its veto power, and stops you dead in your tracks.

One time I was reading someone’s blog post, and it had a typo in it. Trying to be helpful I wrote to the author to tell him. He responded that he was more interested in getting something done than having it be perfect.

I was so shocked. He didn’t care. He didn’t fix it. He left it as it was, with a typo! That was a big lesson for me. He had already moved on to the next thing, and he wasn’t going to spend his time trying to perfect what was already finished.

So maybe as Awakening Women we need to create some new definitions of perfect, or give up on the word altogether. Do you have a new definition of the word “perfect”? Or are you willing to give up on the word altogether? Please leave me a comment below….

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

Click Here to Join Our Free Community and Receive Your Checklist

5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist
5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist

What is the Power of LOVE, Anyway?

The power of love has really been trampled upon by the movies, by our culture, by advertisers, and all the rest. I am using the all-caps version of the word (LOVE) to distinguish it from all that.

Love 1LOVE is not Hallmark sentimentality. The kind of love that is written about in Hallmark cards is generally better called “attachment.” LOVE is not about “you complete me” or “I was lost until you found me” or “You had me at hello…” That is the voice of attachment. It is the voice of co-dependence.

LOVE is not the same as “I love chocolate” or “I love what you are wearing.” We all use the word that way, and in sense, it is a little sad. We are to blame for weakening the power of the word when we use it in this kind of mundane context.

It might be fair to say that these uses of the word “love” come from the head. It comes from the part of us that is always trying to figure out life, control life, make life work to meet our needs and our goals. This kind of use of the word “love” comes from the part of us that feels separated, cut off, all alone.

Love 3So what is LOVE? LOVE is the unifying power of the heart. When you consciously open your own heart, that actual area in the center of your chest, and feel your own heart energy, you begin to get a sense of what I mean.

No matter the challenge you are facing, when you drop your conscious awareness down out of your head, and focus your attention in your heart area, your entire perspective will shift. You leave behind a win/lose orientation, where you are trying to get your way at any cost, and begin to function in a win/win paradigm.

In the energy of the heart a challenge is not resolved until all the voices are heard, all the parties to the situation have found common ground, and the solution is the best one possible for all. The heart knows you can never truly win at someone else’s expense. Sure you might prevail in the short term, but what will the long term results be of winning by making someone else lose…especially when that person is someone you love?

LOVE has the power to create win/win solutions. And we so desperately need win/win solutions in this world. We live in a world of diversity. We don’t all share the same values. We don’t all agree on the best way forward.

win/lose resolves nothing
win/lose resolves nothing

When we approach these areas of conflict from the head, and we all have tried to figure life out over and over, win/win solutions are often not possible. We can’t get there from the head. Resistance simply creates more resistance. Force and the attempt to dominate do not resolve the situation. Manipulation doesn’t work in the long term, in fact it creates more problems down the road, and destroys the trust that makes relationships vital and alive.

ResolvedBut when the various parties will open their hearts, LOVE will find a way. The unifying power of the heart cannot be diminished. In a world that is rife with division there only ever was, and only ever will be one answer: LOVE.

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

Click Here to Join Our Free Community and Receive Your Checklist

5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist
5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist

5 Effective Ways to Stop Suffering

Awakening women have reached a point in their journey where they are tired of suffering and ready to do whatever it takes to end it. As we learn about how our brains work we discover that neural pathways are the mechanisms by which these unconscious triggers are activated. There are many great energy techniques which can be used to break up these old patterns.

1. Energy tapping on meridian points. Also known as EFT, energy tapping uses gentle tapping on spots on the body to move energy, and deescalate the energetic activity in the limbic area of the brain. It is very effective for many triggering emotions.

2. EMDR: This technique uses eye movement to disrupt neural pathways in the brain. The technique is simple to learn.

3. Physical activity: if you feel upset by trigger you can change you state instantly with vigorous physical activity. Doing push-ups, or jogging vigorously in place until your muscles max out will change your physiology. Use this disruptive activity to shift your focus. Try it…it works.

Conscious breathing will change your emotional state
Conscious breathing will change your emotional state

4. Conscious breathing. Try breathing in a pattern like inhale to 4 counts, hold to 8 counts, exhale to 4 counts. Do that for a few minutes and you will change your state.

5. Get out your gratitude journal and shift your focus to what you can be grateful for. If you are able, look for the unseen opportunities in the circumstance that has triggered you. If you are too upset for that, shift your focus to completely different circumstances: happy memories, flowers blooming in your garden, a future event you are looking forward to, and look for ways to feel grateful that way.

Or how about my mother’s solution: eat something, you’ll feel better. Very effective, at least temporarily, but can be disruptive to your ideal weight. LOL!

Disrupting the triggering pattern is only one part of Conscious Co-creation. It is a skill which takes practice, and can be mastered. This community is devoted to women who are looking for collaboration and the joy of evolutionary partnerships to develop their mastery and move into ever-deepening communion with the creative source.

Stranger in a strange landMany awakening women have had a sense of being “a stranger in a strange land” maybe for their whole lives. There is a reason for this. Awakening women didn’t come here to fit in. Awakening women came here to forge a path to transformation of identity for all humanity.

You weren’t meant to fit in, you were meant to stand out!

Your time has come. The world is waiting for you to step into your leadership and to forge your destiny path, stepping away from mass consciousness and all the limitations it imposes.

Your spirit longs for freedom. Join our community and allow yourself to receive the love, support and understanding you need to fully thrive. Welcome Home!

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

Click Here to Join Our Free Community and Receive Your Checklist

5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist
5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist

Are You Accessing Your Feminine Power?

Feminine power comes from choosing to make empowered meaning out of the events of your life. The temptation is to fall into old ways of seeing, disempowered by your past, by your relationships, by the culture you live in.

In order to access your feminine power you must discover how to recognize old beliefs, old habits, old patterns as they arise, and instead of reacting, choose again.

Connect to the light at the center of your being
Connect to the light at the center of your being

Choose to the wholeness of your light. Stop. Breathe. Tap into your body, and ground yourself in the present moment. Seek the truth of your being, that light within which cannot be extinguished, no matter the circumstances.

When you can breathe calmly in the face of your worst nightmare you will know you are finally free. You can allow your life circumstances to be exactly as they are, and you are safe and secure, resting in the stillness of your inner light.

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

Click Here to Join Our Free Community and Receive Your Checklist

5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist
5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist

Is Resistance Holding You Back?

Resistance is a sign of inner conflict
Resistance is a sign of inner conflict

What is resistance really? It is a message of internal conflict. One part of us wants to move ahead with some particular action. A second part is saying “Oh, no, we aren’t going there….” A conflict between 2 parts of yourself. and that is if you are lucky.

For most of us, there are often more than 2 parts weighing in on the resistance.

A third part may be saying “I’m not sure I know what I’m doing.” A fourth part may be saying “What will they say about me if I do that?”

Is it clear why you are making progress on this action?

What can you do when you reach an inner impasse?

Bring all your parts together
Bring all your parts together

Have a party!

“Have a party?” you say….”Are you kidding me?”   No, I’m serious…have a party…a parts party.

A parts party is when all the conflicting parts of you sit down at an imaginary conference table, face to face, so to speak.

You sit at the head of the table, and invite all the conflicting parts to join you. Then one at a time, you invite each part to say what they want to say–to express their concerns, their fears, whatever is on their minds.

You moderate the discussion. You listen carefully. You listen respectfully. You honor each part for their contribution, no matter how challenging their perspective is.

Find out from each part what their goal is. Usually the parts are all trying to keep you safe in their own way.

Dive deep with a part if you need to. Bring your adult, resource-filled perspective to the discussion.

Find out what each part needs to feel safe
Find out what each part needs to feel safe

Find out what each part needs to feel safe.

As you take in all these perspectives you will find that you have a much clearer perspective on the situation.

Maybe you see some things more clearly, and you may find that you alter your course in response to the concerns of your parts.

Maybe you need more information. Maybe you need a little skill development. Maybe you need to ask a friend to let you practice on them and give you feedback. Your perspective is broadened. Your view of what is needed to be successful is expanded. Now you find yourself much better prepared.

Usually, when you consider their concerns and needs your parts will come into agreement about a course of action.

Suddenly you find yourself ready to take action with confidence and the task is accomplished with ease. The resistance has disappeared!

Looking for more winning strategies?

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

Click Here to Join Our Free Community and Receive Your Checklist

5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist
5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist

Is the Rhythm In You? Or Did You Crush It Years Ago?

When we live inside a deep connection to our true self life has a rhythm to it. It has to be that way, doesn’t it? We are part of nature, after all, and nature definitely has its rhythms.

The seasons come and go, marking their passages with definite signs. The awakening of Spring, the full bloom of Summer, the harvest of the Fall, and the deep inward time of Winter. The rising and setting of the sun in daily rhythms. Our waking time and sleeping time. All of life is dominated by rhythms.

And yet, so much of “modern” life destroys our experience of connection to the rhythms. We wake at the alarm, we rush to get off to work, we dash from one meeting to the next, we stress about times and deadlines, we pack our lives into the short time between leaving work and falling exhausted into bed.

Though it is a challenge to do so, there is another way to live, honoring the inner rhythms, and harmonizing with them to the best of our ability, despite the stresses and pressures of modern life. This is the power of conscious co-creation: to choose our beliefs about ourselves, life and others in such as way that we remain connected to that authentic self.

Your eternal reality can be embraced more consciously by allowing a rhythmic life experience that is rather like a song.  In this way life becomes a dance, an ebb and flow of vibrant harmony and ecstatic self-expression.

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

Click Here to Join Our Free Community and Receive Your Checklist

5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist
5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist

Does the New Moon Mean A New You?

Beloved Ones:

This New Moon represents an opportunity to deepen the marriage of your spiritual self and your material self. In order to do that you must sacrifice beliefs, behavior patterns, false beliefs…roles and/or identities that facilitate a disconnection between you and your essence. To sacrifice means “to make holy” or to return to wholeness.

So we are not looking to destroy these parts of ourselves! We are simply looking to return them into the sense of wholeness that is our birthright!

When you are connected to your essence you are living in a sense of flow, guidance, and inspiration. These roles and identities have formed a glass ceiling on top of what you can achieve, and how deeply you can go into your essence to manifest your destiny.

Patterns like perfectionism, and procrastination.

Beliefs like:

“I’m not good enough.”

“I need to know more.”

“It’s not safe to be seen.”

It is time to let go of identifying with these patterns, return them to the wholeness of your true self, and start listening to and obeying that still small voice of guidance within.

Birth your authentic self into the world. Take the next step, from one moment to the next. Open to receive the energy of your essence and watch the dramatic changes happen in your life! Create a New You with the energy of this New Moon. The choice is yours!

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

Click Here to Join Our Free Community and Receive Your Checklist 

5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist
5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist

 

Have you always felt like a stranger in a strange land? I did…

When I was 10 years old I had a thought that perhaps life on earth was really hell, only no one knew it. When I look back at that younger self, seeing how unhappy she was, how alienated she felt, I feel such compassion for her. She had no way to know that what made her different would lead her to the path that set her free.

You, too, may have felt the pain of being different, the pain of having values that do not align with what our predominant culture values, the pain of feeling isolated. Ally feels this way.

Awakening business woman
Awakening business woman

Ally is a successful business woman. She loves her work, but she has noticed that something is missing. It is a nagging feeling. An emptiness. And she has gone in search of this missing thing. She has wandered into various trainings and seminars. And she has found some answers that seemed to add to the sense of fullness for a time. But soon that nagging feeling, the emptiness, would overtake her and she would be off again, searching for something.

What is missing for Ally, and for so many women is a sense of being home. That is what I am creating here, at Awakening Women’s Conscious Community. And today I invite you to join me. Join me in creating an online home for awakening woman. A place to find:

  • Other women just like you who are looking for something
  • Other women just like you who feel that emptiness and want it filled
  • Other women just like you who have done so much work on themselves
  • Other women just like you who have so much to offer
  • Other women just like you who have a vision of how life is supposed to be in this world

Together we can co-create a world that is:

  • A safe place where our children can thrive
  • A secure place where everyone’s basic needs are met
  • A  loving place where everyone is embraced and valued
  • A creative place where we are all free to express our authentic selves and celebrate the diversity that makes life fascinating

In order to do this we all need to develop the skill of conscious co-creation. We are all co-creating already…just, for the most part, unconsciously. Use my checklist to see how far you have come in terms of learning this priceless skill:

5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist
5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist

Download my free checklist for the 5 keys to conscious co-creation here:

http://bit.ly/1pmVWuC

 

 

Ready to Find a Place Called Home?

Most people live unconsciously. They react to external circumstances and these reactions create their experience of life. They never discover their own power to respond to life, choosing responses that move them toward their intended results. Because their reactions are determining their experience and they are not choosing their reactions they feel victimized by life.

Take Paula for example. Paula is married. She has 3 children, ages 4, 7 and 9. She has a job that she hates, but she has to work in order to help with expenses and “make ends meet.” Her husband, Josh, has a job that he isn’t too happy with, but he is very successful and good at what he does. His job requires a lot of his time, energy and attention. Josh works 70-80 hour work weeks. When he gets home, he expects his dinner to be waiting. After dinner he wants nothing more than to watch some television and go to bed. This means that most of the home maintenance, and child care, falls to Paula.

Paula is unhappy, but she sees no way out. She lives an unhappy life of quiet desperation. Paula thinks to herself “Maybe when the kids are grown I can….”

There is another way to live.

Awakening women have begun to sense that there is another way to live: living consciously. This means taking responsibility for our experiences and developing the necessary skills to learn how to consciously co-create with life.

This means cultivating the ability to manage our emotional and mental states: choosing what to think and feel rather than allowing these states to be determined by unconscious reactions. You can learn how to manage your emotional and mental states! You have come to the right place!

The Awakening Women’s Community is a place dedicated to cultivating these skills and abilities in a loving and deeply supportive environment. You’ll know you are in the right place if it begins to feel a little bit like home….

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

Click Here to Join Our Free Community and Receive Your Checklist 

5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist
5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation Checklist

Are You Looking For An Evolutionary Partner?

If you are looking for Evolutionary Partners, you have come to the right place. Awakening Women is designed to attract the kind of woman who will be an excellent evolutionary partner. Sure your spouse or beloved can be an evolutionary partner, and hopefully they are! But all of us need evolutionary partnerships that are not complicated by sharing life and/or a household.

Evolutionary partners are a source of joy!
Evolutionary partners are a source of joy!

Primary Characteristics of an Evolutionary Partner:

  • Someone who shares your deeply-held values
  • Someone who is willing to be authentic in relationship with you and wants you to be authentic in return
  • Someone who will tell you what you need to hear even if it is not what you want to hear
  • Someone who sees your brilliance and is a stand for you to actualize your full potential
  • Knows how to listen and create a safe space for you
  • Is willing to trust you to be a safe space for her
  • Supports you to see from a higher perspective
  • Supports you to create new possibilities
  • Is light-hearted normally and loves to laugh

If this describes you, you are in the right place!

Welcome Home!

If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.

Click Here to Join Our Free Community and Receive Your Checklist