For Awakening Women, the question “who am I” is very important. Because as we awaken, our identities begin to change. Our definition of self moves from the external and temporal to the internal and the eternal.
When we begin to live consciously in the internal world of eternal being we live in deep connection with the qualities of awareness that have been combined to create the unique expression of LOVE that we truly are. Translated into the material world these are your core values.
Your core values, conscious or not, are driving the way you organize the experience of your life. When your life is being organized by unconscious core values, it is much more difficult to experience joy and fulfillment. In fact, if you are in a time of disorientation and confusion in your life right now, I suggest that part of the reason why is that you are disconnected from your core values.
Many people are wondering these days about the purpose of their lives. You may be asking “why am I here?” And often, people think that what will provide meaning, structure and fulfillment to their lives is to know what they are supposed to do. But if you think this, you are mistaken. What provides meaning, structure and fulfillment to life is to have access to your being: who you essentially are in your core, your core values.
Once you have identified your core values all life experiences provide information about whether the “doing” you are “doing” in the moment is leading toward greater expression of your core values, or away from expression of your core values. Let me give you an example.
When Susan, name changed to protect her confidentiality, came to me for help she said she was feeling depressed and lethargic. So I asked her “Who are you?”
She told me she was a wife and a mother and a librarian. So we talked about the difference between “doing” and “being” and I asked her the question again. This time she answered slowly, taking her time to allow herself to experience her “being.” She said “I am loving, creative, and supportive.”
Then we began to look at Susan’s life experience, and see where “loving, creative, and supportive” was showing up, and where it was not showing up, and who she was being when the feelings of depression and fatigue were showing up. This was a very interesting exploration that took place over several weeks.
Susan had many insightful revelations during this exploration. One thing she discovered is that she had made some choices to allow herself to develop a routine in her daily life which was squelching her creativity. She was doing the same things the same way day after day. While there were many opportunities for creative self-expression in her life, Susan had closed off her perception of these options by living in a rut. She had unconsciously drifted into these choices.
For example, Susan prepared breakfast for her husband and two children every morning. But for various reasons breakfast had become cereal and toast, day after day. She had stopped “creating” breakfast. She had stopped thinking about breakfast.
There were some good reasons for developing this routine. The family was busy, they had to get out the door to get the kids to school and get to work. So it was not an option to make a fancy breakfast every morning.
But was there room to allow herself to be creative and have some fun with the breakfast experience? It turned out there was! When Susan allowed herself to “be creative” and make breakfast fun, new possibilities and choices opened up. And guess what? Her family loved it! Breakfast became a fun family time at Susan’s house. It started everyone’s day better, and with a sense of love, laughter, and enjoyment.
And Susan realized that this could be a shared effort in the family. So after a family meeting, each family member began to contribute ideas and take responsibility for making breakfast fun every day.
It became easier to get the kids up. They were looking forward to breakfast. This creative energy set the tone for each family member to leave the house “full” of LOVE, and that LOVE flowed out into the day, and into the people each person was called to interact with throughout the day. The powerful ripple effect of beginning the day with a conscious expression of LOVE changed everything.
You might be saying “that is such a little thing.” And in terms of “doing” it was. But in terms of “being” it was huge. Susan’s being was craving creative expression. And there was nothing stopping her from it, except she had not identified her deep desire to express herself creatively. She did not have attention or focus on it, and it had drifted out of her life.
Creativity had been replaced by a rut that was “soul-killing.” The depression and fatigue that Susan was experiencing was being created by hundreds of small choices every day that were ignoring her core values, and not leaving room for her “authentic” self to show up. She had allowed herself to “be” more of a robot than a loving, creative, supportive wife, mother and librarian.
So if you are experiencing a lack of fulfillment in your life, a feeling that something is missing, or a chronic sense of frustration, try identifying your core values. Then look to see how you can express these values more fully in your life.
If you recognize your journey in these words consider joining our free Awakening Women’s Community. When you join our free community you will receive a free checklist called 5 Keys to Conscious Co-Creation so that you can begin assess your co-creative abilities.